Yeh i know it's been a while and I haven't really been a good deviant writing to you all and commenting on your art and journals. I'm sorry. Just busy.

Also I lost my job Thursday January 30th. They let everyone go who's been at True Manufacturing a year and less. So that means this pregnant girl I know who works with me is laid off too! And her husband works in the other company building.. so I wonder how long it'll be before he gets let go of if he has by now.

At first I wanted to cry then I was seething. I was let go at 1:03pm... I had been staying with my cousin who lives 15 min away from work and off a major hwy. I usually stay with her when it ices and snows so I can make it to work on time by hitching a ride with her. Well, she's been there 4 or more years so SHE still has her job.

I'm outside in the snow and ice.... looking crazy as I huff and puff up and down the stairs outside her building. I couldn't go into the building because I'm no longer an employee. I knew they'd 'let' me anyway because of the weather. But my problems are no concern of theirs. I wasn't going to stoop low enough to sit inside waiting two and a half hours for her to get off work. If I sat inside I'd only cry and look ridiculous. So I just jogged up and down the stairs in 20 degree weather looking like a lunatic.

Other people who were let go took the walk of shame past me on the stairs. One guy asked why I was still there. I said I didn't have a ride she's still employed and she's still working. He asked how far away I lived. I answered that it was too far and my stuff and car was at her house anyway-but thanks. He just nodded and said to take care and good luck. I wished him the same as he walked away. I guess not everyone there is mean like I thought originally.

Anyway, My cousin gets off work and is very upset about my losing my job. She later calls my mom crying apologizing for what happened. Its alright because if I was at my old job I'd probably have been 200lbs by now or had hung myself in my closet long ago. So... it's OK.

My old job at the title loan company 15 min from my house would totally take me back. However, as I stated just a few lines ago... it ain't happening. So I've grabbed applications everywhere from cedar hill to high ridge. I have a LOT and I have yet to search thoroughly online.. although those look very bleak.

I have loads of exp so I am sure I stand a chance. I have to move in with my friend this summer if she gets accepted into SLU (for those of you who don't know I live in Missouri around St. Louis) so i will have freedom but this jobless shit isn't gonna cut it. I NEED A JOB!

Anyway... good news.... i made something pretty sweet with Frosted Flakes, a banana, banana and vanilla pudding. letting it chill and imm eat it for breakfast i think w coffee lol IM BAD XD

anyway while I look for jobs I am gonna stay home and use my stepper and our exercise bike to keep off the pounds while i catch up on the shows I recorded on my DVR.

anyway... peace. im out...